Doesn’t staring mean looking at something still and stable? We never really stare at the computer screen. We see things. Things that change and refresh. Not the case with nothing. We always stare at nothing. We have no option. Nothing changes. (Then how do we stare at it?) Nothing is just lack of a sight. We can stare at darkness, or nothing in particular. Nothing is the space just in front of a sight. So when I say I’m staring at nothing, I mean it.
I was staring away into the night today. Beautiful Day was playing. Bono mentioned many things that made the day beautiful. And as it usually happens, I tried to imagine those things. But, somehow, the darkness in front of me was overpowering my imagination. The song was just a passive sound at the back. It came, it reached its peak, it began to end. At times of distractions, I could keep track of the song, I noticed a few things I see everyday, every night. I saw the shimmer in the shanty beside the construction site, the shimmer of the red crane indicator. A cool breeze was doing the rounds of my balcony. The clarity was as it should be after an untimely shower that cleant the air over the world. And just as a shutter slide transition, I drifted into nothing for a while, gained focus a few moments later. Loud drums went on and were joined in with treble. Stuck in a moment started. (U2 and their impeccable timing!)
It started raining, drizzling really. I like this. If I get distracted from nothing, there is rain to make up for it. Or so I thought. While I tried to pay attention to the song, listening this time, but staring at nothing, I saw the traffic neatly parked on the highway, Couldn’t hear the horns, but imagined them honking, they were almost spoiling the song. Tried to ignore the cars, turned to nothing. Elevation started soon. Too noisy, I moved from my window sill, to the computer, hit ‘next’ on the player. “And if the darkness is to keep us apart…” Thank you Bono. Paying full attention at the song, I was still staring at nothing. Absolutely nothing this time. Ooh! Ooh! Walk on…
Until there were ‘dongs’ and ‘dings’ on my gtalk. These people I tell you! Kite playing now. Darn! Will probably have to listen and talk to people at the same time now. (Better watch my mouth here.) Achtung baby.